It’s an old saying, but what does it really mean? Why would I want my enemies around? Wouldn’t I be more comfortable with friends, a supportive family, and loved ones? While that does sound nice and cozy and safe, it’s not the place I want to be all the time.
Staying safe and comfortable is like living in Thailand or Hawaii. It’s always beautiful, there’s no problem, you’re always happy, the sun is always shining.
No growth. No challenge. No opportunities to see where you’re stuck.
Our purpose on this Earth, in this life, is to work and grow through the challenges. A setback, a bad day, a broken heart, are all ways for us to seek growth and contribute our lesson to the world. Without these challenges, our mental and spiritual growth stops.
I get more motivation from someone telling me I can’t do something than someone telling me I can. Of course my mom thinks I’ve hung the moon. She’s my mom. But I don’t usually get that “you can do better” push from my loved ones. It’s my enemies that will point out where I’m lacking.
I was dating a guy for a couple months and I thought we were a great match. We had a lot in common and we had a lot of fun together. But two months in, something changed in him. It was very subtle at the time but looking back I could see the moment it happened. He started to disappear and when I asked him about it, he told me he wasn’t ready for a relationship. He said he would still like to “hang out” (I love that line), but he wasn’t looking for something serious. I said no thanks.
I deserve more than that.
Three weeks later I saw a picture of him and a girl hiking in the desert. I recognized her from a picture he had taken a month before we started dating. I still don’t know the entire story because I never spoke to him again, but if I had to guess, I’d say she came back into his life and he decided he would rather be with a doctor than an esthetician.
It hurt because he lied. He did want to be in a relationship, just not with me. But I used that rejection to my advantage. It gave me the motivation to put my projects first and I finished my first novel.
Earlier this year, I was dating a guy and I ignored ALLLLLL the red flags. I denied everything the Universe was telling me, until he wrote me an email where he blamed himself for thinking that I was a published (career) author (instead of an esthetician), and he mistakenly thought we would be good together because our lives would be similar. He told me he is an “outlier” and that he is “driven in a way that I am not used to.”
And there’s always that friend; the one who tries to look better than me or outshine everyone in the room. I watch her get uncomfortable when I begin to grow into my truth and my purpose, because with those two things comes a humble power – it’s not the kind that flexes its’ muscles, it’s the kind that attracts wonderful people with depth and value.
I love it. I’m about to launch my 4th website and I feel more open than ever. Without the insults and the narcissism, I’d still be sitting here, making them a priority, instead of my Purpose. It is my biggest hope and deepest desire that my Purpose will always come before everything else, except God – who gave me that purpose.
Without realizing it, these guys and so many more men and women have pushed me, encouraged me to try harder, to remember my drive, my skill and my need to share my experience, strength and hope with the world. The people who watch every single story I post on Instagram, but never reach out in real life, the friends who are envious of my actions, the ones who give me a back-handed compliment – they are all a barometer, a litmus test for where I am, if I’m as driven as I could be and how well I’m doing. Like I said, my friends and family will always support me and love me for who I am. There’s no growth in that. My enemies make me stretch, reach, and feel those uncomfortable truths.
An enemy is not a bad thing, they keep you in check and as Winston Churchhill said, they let you know that you’ve stood up for something in your life.
Thanks homies, you’re the real MVP.
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